Death of the Courtesy Flush

My friend Charlie is very upset with bathroom trends. He feels that technology is working against us. I have always been a proponent of technology, so his feelings alarmed me.

If you’ve ever been to a modern bathroom, you’ll notice that most of the toilets and urinals automatically flush. They use some sort of motion-sensing technology to accomplish this. If you’ve been to the Embassy movie theatre bathrooms, you’ll notice that not only are the toilets automatic, but the soap, water, and paper towels are as well. I find this very entertaining for two reasons. First, I like futuristic things, and on-command soap from a shiny metal tube is very futuristic. Second, I can also pretend that these devices are controlled not by motion sensors, but by my mind.

Charlie appreciates the automatic nature of modern bathrooms, but he has a complaint: automatic toilets eliminate the Courtesy Flush.

He’s right.

He told me this, and then recounted his feeble attempts to lean out of the way of the sensor so that the toilet would flush. It did not. Charlie was just trying to do his duty (being courteous) while he was “doing his duty.”

Charlie has lots of good ideas when it comes to restrooms. He’s previously pointed out that all this automatic stuff makes it so you don’t have to touch anything in the restroom, but you still have to touch the door when you leave. They should make it automatic like supermarkets (and Star Trek) have had for years. Charlie has also conceived of a wheel chair with a seat that slides away from the base, so the handicapped person doesn’t have to wrestle his or her way onto the toilet seat.

He’s a wealth of ideas, that kid.

2 Responses to “Death of the Courtesy Flush”

  1. julianne Says:

    actually, it bothers me that embassy is all of a sudden trying to become a real theater. and half the time the “automatic bathroom” doesn’t even work.

    i miss the old, disgusting, unattended embassy bathrooms.

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